QT: Against My Will

“May I ask, are you a couple?” asked the reporter.

“Yes! See our couple jackets? It’s a clear sign that we are a couple,” said Bing Shi proudly.

“How would you name yourself as a couple?”

“Duo on crack,” said Xuan Mu.

“Noo, I want to be a jellyfish couple.”

“Bing Shi in the food chain, we would be under Sharkie,” Xuan Mu disapproved.

“True. What about Mr. and Mrs. Jelly?”

“Hm. Ok,” Xuan Mu nodded half-heartedly.

.....

The reporter’s mouth twitched. After a bunch of questions, she asked this particular one, “When was your first kiss?”

Before Bing Shi could brag about their relationship, Xuan Mu grabbed her hand, and with all the strength he could muster, he wheeled them away.

Seeing the panting Xuan Mu, Bing Shi stopped his hands, “Let me.” Taking hold of the handles, she continued on her way.

“Bing Shi, you inherited the bragging thing after your parents,” Xuan Mu smiled.

“No way! Oh my god, I’m doomed,” Bing Shi laughed out loud.

‘I’m smiling for him.’

‘I’m happy for him.’

‘But inside, I’m dying together with him.’

· · — · ???· — · ·

Bing Shi carved a swan out of an apple. She looked at the art piece in delight. “Xuan Mu, I became an apple peeling pro. See?” She turned towards the unresponsive man in the bed. The room light cast a deathly pallor on his weakened features. He slept as if nothing was wrong, but she knew better. It broke her to see him hurting this way. She could see how he tried to hide his suffering. She quietly crouched before his bed, holding his hand, she listened to his breathing. Taking in his warmth, cold tears fell uncontrollably down her cheeks, “Please, don’t leave me alone. I need you.”

After a few months, Xuan Mu was stuck in a state of presleep, a stage before falling asleep. He became less responsive. Eventually, he became mute.

That was the last time Bing Shi could hear his voice. There were recordings which she took, but how could they compare to the real one? After taking care of his unresponsive body, she could only stroke his hair and hold his hand. From time to time, her eyes would drop to the bedsheets, but most of the time, they were fixed on his face in a soft stare so that whenever he’d open his eyes she’d be the first thing he’d see.

· · — · ???· — · ·

Now, Xuan Mu was in the last stage of the disease. No matter how much research they did on him, the doctors still couldn’t find a cure. It would be too late anyway. His brain started to die out.

Bing Shi continued to take care of his unresponsive body. It barely seemed enough, but his heart rate continued to beat. She refused to give up, waiting for a miracle to happen.

But nothing happened.

No.

Something happened.

Xuan Mu died.

Don’t try to imagine the scene. That’s how sorrowful it was.

In the corner of her mind, she was preparing herself for the death of her bellowed, but living through the actual thing was a pure nightmare. She felt what Xuan Mu felt over and over again, in the course of eight months.

Such an unforgiving disease.

It happened a few days before their eighth anniversary, the most traumatic day in Bing Shi’s life.

The inside of her was ruthlessly ripped off. All that was left?

A broken shell.

At Xuan Mu’s funeral, not many people attended due to nobody being invited. The few who attended wanted to make connections with a woman, who seemed to be missing. It was utter chaos as paparazzi and reporters wanted to interview Bing Shi, the richest woman in the country. The few people who knew her were worried about her well being, while the majority thought about how lucky she was for obtaining all of Xuan Mu’s assets.

Inside of a luxurious armored car, sat a desolate silhouette of a woman dressed in a vintage black dress with black gloves and stockings. On her head was a small hat, from which a double-layered fishnet well fell, covering her whole face. The only color on her was the striking red lipstick.

Opposite her sat her parents and brothers, trying to persuade her to go back home with them.

“I’m fine. Just leave me alone.” Bing Shi leaned her shoulder against the door of the car, looking through the window, a gray fog covered everything in the near vicinity. The only visible thing were the guards in black, surrounding the vehicle.

“Bing Shi promise us to continue on living,” they pleaded. Their faces covered in tears. They knew any more words would be futile.

“Of course, that’s what I promised Xuan Mu,” Bing Shi said with a hoarse voice. She touched the earbud in her ears, “Is everything clear?” After a sign off approval, clutching her purse, she opened the door of the car.

Automatically, bodyguards surrounded Bing Shi in a circle.

She slowly walked in front of his tombstone.

‘Xuan Mu, I’m glad that your suffering ended.’

‘You brought everything with you, but you forgot a little something.’

‘My suffering.’

‘It’s starting to spread all over the empty holes you left behind.’

Opening her purse with shaking hands and bloodshot eyes, she pulled out a tiny rock and put it on top of his tombstone, next to all the flower bouquets.

· · — · ???· — · ·

As days went by, it got worse and worse. Suicidal thoughts occupied her whole mind. She kept blaming herself that the reason he left was because of her. If only she weren’t so fixated on herself, things could have ended differently.

Going through his clothes, she took out his wallet, wanting to exchange it with hers. Because, why not? Who knew what went through her head at that time.

Opening it, she wanted to stuff it with their photos. Feeling that something was wrong, she reached behind the two pictures and pulled out a ring.

Astonished, she dropped everything on the floor. After rubbing her blurred sight, she hurriedly picked all the things up and placed them back into their previous state like nothing happened. It was apparent that she’d find it. Why would Xuan Mu put it in there?